The year Katie was 9, I was intern minister in Syracuse NY. We lived in a government subsidized town house packed together with other town houses in a little complex. The complex was atumble with kids. I remember most of all the sound of plastic tires—Big Wheels—racing over the asphalt pavement at all hours of the day.
Katie had a lot of playmates in that confined and family-packed place, including several girls her age. Some were nice and some weren’t. One girl, her name was Becky I remember, lorded it over Katie throughout the year we lived there. Becky took every opportunity to tell Katie that whatever she had or did was better than what Katie had or did.
This irked Katie to no end. However, Katie, even at 9 was able to process Becky’s ways. Once Becky blurted out in the presence of Katie's Mom, “I like my Mommy, better than your Mommy.”
Now think of all the possible responses -- different ways of tearing down Becky’s Mom and lifting up Katie’s own Mom. But Katie gave a response that is among the wisest responses possible, which I’ve long considered to be among the best insight/advice I’ve ever heard.
Katie said simply, “Of course you like your Mommy better. She’s your Mommy.”
Think about that inborn wisdom – that whatever is ours we like the best, whether it’s our political party, or our sports team, or our school, or our whatever… (Notice that we claim so many things as ours.)
Just because something is ours and we like it the best, doesn’t mean it’s categorically the best, but from within our own experience we like it better than anything, anywhere else.
My daughter taught me to let others take pride in and express loyalty to what is theirs, while maintaining my pride in and loyalty to what is mine. I've found this outlook/strategy anxiety-reducing and respectful.
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1 comment:
Love that philosophy! What wise insight from such a young girl :). We should all take that to heart!
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